Peeing with my asshole..

I vomitted..

I think it was the oysters..

Maybe they weren't fresh..

I should have listened to dear and not eat them..

The toilet beckons..

For the First Time In My Life.. I felt like i was peeing from my asshole.. only the pee was much more disgusting..


_____________________________________________________


I think it was the oysters..

Maybe they weren't fresh..

I should have listened to dear and not eat them..

The toilet beckons..

For the Second Time In My Life.. I felt like i was peeing from my asshole.. only the pee was much more disgusting..

Plaza Hotel Singapore

29th April 2005 1700 hrs!
Dear end exam lo! As promised and discussed, we decided to go for good good food!

After much discussion, we decided to go to suntec to have a buffet dinner.. but alas, it was not to be as when we got there, the theme of the buffet dinner was penang delights..*yucks* haha..

Two options, 1-> The restaurant beside was offering buffet steamboat
2-> Plaza Hotel for Plaza Cafe Buffet Dinner!

So in the end, we took bus number 14 from suntec to concourse and walked from concourse to Plaza Hotel. The stupid busstop area was under construction and we had to take a detour.. 2 hungry tired souls walking and cant wait for food..



And worse thing was when we got to the cafe, we were told it was fully booked! had to settle for a less glamarous seat outside the cafe though.. BUT THE FOOD WAS SUPERB!! and the company MAGNIFICENT! hehe..


1st dish! Shark's Fin Soup! and the 2nd dish! Fried Rice + Steamed Fish + chilli toufu + roasted meat!


3rd round! Tempura prawn + durian prata + Orange Duck + Soft Shell Crap! and the 4th round.. DELICIOUS SALMON SASHIMI!


Oyster + Drunken Chicken + Keropok!

And then there was coffee, ice cream, cheese cake, and alot la! haha..

And there was my beloved dear!

My dear and I! haha! i love you dear..

But unfortunately, It was not to be... I had to fall sick.. *grumble* Sorry dear..

Oh.. i forgot to state the price.. bout $70 in total.. not too expensive when u consider the good food and the bliss of a young couple... I wish everyday was as blissful as when i was consuming the dinner with dear..

M&M Milk Chocolates..

Damn i am bored.. My mum went out NTUC some time ago..She bought back a nice circular box of M&M milk chocolates...


Well, this is the nice beautiful box..

Imagine my glee and anticipation building up when i thought of the delicious chocolates that i could probably eat for wks inside the box...*yum*yum*

Well..happy endings always happen only in fairy tales.

Its so pathetic inside! Only 4 packets of mini fun size peanut M&M packets inside! which i conveniently consumed in 5 mins..

So i read the cover of the box.. its supposed to be a limited decorative M&M box, so i tot maybe tts y only got 4 packets. Then i realised my mum bought 2 boxes, so to satisfy my rising bewilderment of seeing only 4 packets of M&M's, i opened the other box..

Well, i tink my mum got cheated!! The other box was overflowing with chocolate packs lo!!!!!

Grr.. Trust M&M to cheat people...

Its e end of exams for that special someone..

Its Friday! 29th April 2005!

Been surfing the net last nite for 2 hrs.. Promised dear today we shall got eat something good after her exams for dinner..

Seafood Buffet? cant seem to find someplace tts not too far and easily accessible..

Japanese Cuisine? cant seem to find someplace tts not too far and easily accessible..

Ok.. We shall juz go Cafe Cartel like she suggested.. at least its not a place we always frequent la.. Come back Tampines Mall ba? haha..we're so boring!!

My adopted tiger..

Well.. was blog hoppin yesterday and came across someone's blog who had this adopted animal there.. cant remember who's blog la..

Anyway, since i'm having a zoo theme now.. So i tot, why not? Haha.. GO AHEAD, scold me BOLIAO.. haha.. anyway.. my tiger is below the tag board.. haha..

LAME...

Happy Birthday ShingKit...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINGKIT! Old n clumsy fool..

I'm going to make u drunk tonite..

Happy 22nd Birthday..

Unfair treatment when it comes to PRESENTS!

My mother juz came back from China on Monday.. She went to some 美食团led by the tour guide, 林益明. Apparently, she fell sick in China wor.. or should i say, almost the whole tour fell sick. She suffered the last 3 days of her 10 day trip with fever while her friend suffered from flu and diarrhoea. Some of the rest of the 100+ people in the tour kena diarrhoea also and some even had to go to a local china hospitial to be put on drip wor..

Anyway, she came back with presents!! wahahahah! BUT NOT FAIR!! Y the girl always get more presents?!?!?


For darling..


One for darling and one for me..


One for each of us!

Not fair rite.. dear got more presents.. And my mum offered a bottle of 珍珠霜 to her also. I dunno whether dear would use or not, so told my mum to hold it 1st. If she got use den i take and give her..

NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR! SHe got the better and more presents than me~

不要逼我啦！

For the pass 2 wks or so, whenever i've been back in camp, the topic of discussion has always been tuition kids..

Camp mate, Chor, took up tuition teaching last week. He teaches an amazing 4 students per wk. Bookin him for tuition is even harder den booking your next driving lesson with your private instructor. Mon-Fri, everyday he teaches tuition. How is he going to cope, u wonder, when he starts schoolin in NTU? Oh.. simple, kick some of the students away lo! Poor students..

Aniway, back to my topic..
Chor related this incident to me while i was on duty with him on Sunday. He was having one of his tuition sessions with this Sec 2 boy.(not to mention this boy brought Chor to buy pirated games durin lesson time. What a pair of teacher n student..haha)

Well.. amidst all the work n coaching by Chor,

the boy told him, "ey.. 不要逼我啦！"
So Chor replied, "我没有逼你！"
the boy said, "哈哈！你没有逼你啊！"

Get the joke? Sec 2 boys...haha..

*eerie*eerie*eerie*

- Warning, the following post is not suitable for the young and faint-hearted. Apologies to all who was even the slightliest offended. No disrespect intended. -

U cant help wondering about out of this world stuffs when you're alone in e office tts often filled with ghost stories...

A gust of wind blows and u feel the tinklish sensation all over u and all ur hairs standing up..

You prepare turn around n you prepare yourself to face the most hideous face u can imagine..

Lingering in some forgotten part of your memory are stories about the photostatin machine lady who haunts around in her red cheong sum from 12-2 am...

How will she look? What am i goin to do? *shivers*shivers* cold sweat forms on your forehead and palms..

As you turn, you catch sight of faces lingering at the corner of your eye..

U quickly close your eyes and pray..

When you open your eyes.. they stare straight back at you..
































For one moment, i thought..

My sincere apologies to Mr and Mrs President.. It was honestly a genuine mistake.

Lets play an analytical game..

Since i'm so bored and on duty now.. my thoughts began to wander..
Why duty personnel must carry so many set of keys in my camp? Y? Y? Y?
There's..
1. My own office key
2. Bicycle Key(since i dun have a license and cant drive the patrol vehicle)
3. Main office Building Keys
4. Bunk Keys coupled with my cupboard key
5. Armoury keys

The photos below shows the keys.. Non-inclusive of the armoury keys as i stashed them hidden somewhere in case i lose them.. n u'll probably visit me in jail for the rest of my life..

Game rules:
Using your own analytical skills, come to a conclusion which keys in the pictures belong to No.1-4 above.. Do not put ur mouse cursor over the picture until you have came to an answer for all 4 pictures.



So.. did u get the answers correct? If you din.. you probably have the lousiest analytical skills in the whole wide world.

I'm Bored.

26th April 2005 - A tuition teacher's greatest fear..

I'm in camp again! Duty! again! but duty still can blog also not bad la.. haha.. Dear is busy studying now..hope she gets good grades for her exams wor.. GOOD LUCK! Anyway, yesterday was another tuition teachin day.. Once again, i felt like shooting myself while i taught her..

Thats her alrite.. Vaness as she is called..

Her Oral examinations is this thursday.. so naturally i went thru oral with her.. Her passage reading was ok.. but when it came to the picture discussion part..HOHOHO!

Well..this is part of the picture she is supposed to discuss..


A recalled quote of her description went like this..
"the 5 children are performing a parade dance. 3 of the boys are blowing a horn. ey.. one of the boy dropped his horn. I think this i because he is very nervous. 3 of the girls are taking pong pongs. The girl on the mistake boy's right is doing the wrong position. I think she is distracted by the boy dropping his horn. The other 3 children is having a good time. I think the other 3 children move closer to each other to cover up the mistakes made by the 2 children."

Lets just ignore the grammatical, verbal errors..
Mistake No.1 : What in the world is PONG PONG?!? Its Pom Pom, my dear tuition girl.. It took her almost 5 minutes to finally pronounce ir correctly.

Mistake No.2 : Which part of the 'thing' the boys are holding looks like a horn? At least tell me its a trumpet or something..

Mistake No. 3 : "The girl on the mistake boy's right is doing the wrong position." She cant even tell left and right.

'Calm down,' i tell myself.. Maths..

2 and 1/3 hr + 20 mins = ?
No matter how i tried.. she couldn't comprehend how to convert minutes to hour.. so after much workings.. she got the answer as 2 hr 40 mins. Being the kind, helpful teacher i was, i decided to convert it to hour for her.. 2 and 2/3 hrs.

Using that, she had to use distance to find the average speed. So it went like this..
Average Speed = D/T
= 8 / 2 and 2/3 hrs
"ey.. cannot divide lei.. how to divide 2 and 2/3?" She had no idea how to change 2 and 2/3 to 8/3.. *Sigh*... her mid yr is 2 wks away..

And she couldn't find 3/5 of an hour = ? too.. but she could do this..
"You got 60 chicken pies. U ate 3/5 of them. How many chicken pies did u eat?"
She said "easy.. 36 lor.."

Looks like she can only comprehend chicken pies..
If i could type chinese now.. i'll show u her chinese essay..You'll cry..CONFIRM! Another time ba..

I fear i'll lose control of myself..

there's a virus going around..

These few days.. people have been msning me these stuffs..

"go try this..

xxxx.xxxxx.xxxxemail=junwei84@hotmail.com"
all those xxx meaning some website address la... well..u open the file u download from the link and lo and behold! u got yourself a virus!

DianFang was the latest to get it and sound advice from his was to do a system restore.. i guess it works ba?

Anyway.. I DIN START THE VIRUS! DUN ASK ME HOW THE LINK GOT MY EMAIL ADDRESS! it wasn't me..i guess i'm just too popular or i'm one hated fella..which is probably the case.

God Bless to those who got the virus n cant do a system restore..

oh.. my new blog address..

After quite a bit of irritation with my original blog address as seen in my previous blog and repeated spankins(no la.. juz mourning..) by my beloved dear.. we finally agreed on a better blog address.. haha.. wad days i;m missing u may ask? those days when everything seemed so carefree and live was such a breeze without any worries.. i guess the happiest days in my life were during secondary school.. dont u all agree? thanks dear for the new blog address..

oh.. i retained my original theme settings of the zoo.. mayb next month i'l design it to look like the bird park.. boredz!

Wad a lao tiko!

24th April 2005

Sigh.. back in camp now doin duty.. though i'm a ORD personnel soon to be! haiz.. and my back/shoulder hurts..

ANyway, i took the train all the way from simei to boon lay to my camp as usual. Encountered this incident on the train. I'm going to expose this LAO TIKO for the poor lady i encountered on the train.

Here's wad happened..

There was this 2 ladies sitting directly opposite me during the train ride. At commonwealth or somewhere there, 1 lady stood up and left. The other lady then went to sleep after her friend left. Awhile later, a man wearing green t-shirt boarded the train and sat down next to her. One look at him tells u he's damn disgusting.. He acts abit like 'Zhihao' in the recent tv8 serial whereby he keeps twitching his face in uncontrollable fashion. Anyway, he sat down. The lady was wearing a white spaghetti which was rather thin with a black bra inside. AND GUESS WAD?!??!?!

The sibei lao tiko kept turning his head to the right evry 30 seconds or so to pretend to scratch his head and then peep or should i say daringly stare at the poor lady's boobs or black bra. It shouldn't juz b stare.. it was more like scrutinizing...

And to think he doesn't even care about other people staring at him..though i think only i noticed as i was sitting directly opposite him and those beside me were a few young malay kids. OUTRAGEOUS! i pity the lady, she din even know her assets were being scutinized..

Thats not the worse! At the adjacent row, there was this rather chiobu sitting there, this sibei lao tiko kept glancing at that direction and jumping up whenever there seems to be a chance where he can go sit beside her.. He's damn despo man! I dun mean to b mean but the lady she was scrutinizing din particular have a great figure or looks u know.. DESPO!

As a final act of savior act, i took this picture..

I caught him while he was finishing one of his multiple peeping endeavours into the unknown.. HEY ! ITS NOT EASY TRYING TO TAKE TIS PIC W/O HIM REALISING IT OK! I DUN HAVE THE SECRET CAMERA KIT ALWAYS BRAGS ABOUT!

Anyway, if my xia was sitting beside him and i noticed it, i tink i would have killed him.. NO! I SWEAR TO GOD! I WILL BASH HIM UP! TEAR HIM TO PIECES! PULL OUT HIS HAIR! FRY HIS EYEBALLS! ok..tt was exaggeration.. it juz shows how bored i am doin duty now.. BUT I WILL STILL BASH HIM UP!

Talking about duty..which brings me back to reality.. Another boring day..another duty day..another wasted day in 2 yrs 2mths.. Another day protected by the young, brave, 2LT Tan Jun Wei to ensure you people reading this is doing it in the comfort and safety of Singapore. I miss my Pink IC.

Sunday Bball late comers!

24th April 2005
This morning went to play our normal sunday basketball..

Let's look at the attendees for todays exercise..

OCC - Early
CDH - Early
Me - On time
Beng - On time
WONG SHING KIT - LATE AS USUAL AND USING HIS LOUSY SMALL MINI BICYCLE AS AN EXCUSE!
WEE - LATE!

Should make those who are late next time to pay up! $1 for every minute late..

the tuition teacher needs help..

HELP ! I NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH ME HOW TO TEACH TUITION!

One scorching sunny afternoon, I was having remidel in my school, when i open the door of my classroom, it was like a three ring circle.

Suddently, every body come to a still. They peep out of the window and saw a police car chasing two middle age men on a motorcycle. One of the man was holding a bag. Every body went to the fence to watch, the teacher was so terrified that she don't know what to do.

One of the police pull out his gun and shot the tire, so they crash to the school gate and explodatled so every body was shocked when the ambulance came, it was too late as they was burnt to death but at least the bag was save. The police open the bag and found out that there is alot of money in there so they suspected they were the ones who robbed the bank in seng kang.

This is an essay by my tuition kid. Oh Gosh, how am i supposed to teach her? U know wad my only consolation was? i asked her, "u sure got 150 words or not?" "有啦有啦！我有算，刚刚好！" hey, at least she can count up till 150.

That was monday, i taught her english. Den came thursday, i taught her maths.

the question went like this..

3x+2 = 2X - 5.. Find x.

'i dunnoe..'

'ok, u bring the x to the left, den u do'

'i dunno lei..'

'ok, we look @ the left side only, i want to remove the 3x, so i muz minus 3x from the equation rite?'

'ya..'

'so the other side must minus 3x also..'

'y?'

ARGH!

next question..

3הּ-1/2הּ = ?

'i dunno..'

'ey.. ok..u got 3 apple, u ate 1/2 an apple.. how mani apples do u have left?'

'2 and 1/2 lo!'

'ok so.. the answer for the question is?'

'i dunnoe lei..'

another question..

'this symbol , הּ, is called pie.'

'ok'

'ey..wad is the symbol called again?'

'pie'

'ok...' 10 seconds later..'i forget again!'

'never mind..its called pie, the pie as in chicken pie.'

'orrr..i know liao..'

the next time i did a maths question with a הּ symbol, she pronounced it as chicken pie and no matter how mani times i tell her its only pie, she still calls it chicken pie. Sigh. At least her target is only 210 for her PSLE this yr. God help me.

www.singaporezoo.blogspot.com

OH MY GOSH!

Well.. you all shoud visit this website www.singaporezoo.blogspot.com this person, Nagarajan is the editor. Hey, i din even realise my blog was www.singaproezoo.blogspot.com. In my frustration in getting an address for my blog, i din even know i typed wrongly. sux. Imagine my horror when i told dear qixia..'hey, visit my blog @ www.singaporezoo.blogspot.com! ' and her reply came.. 'ey, how come you call urseld Nagarajan?' Lo and Behold, stupid me!

irritatin..

y muz they do this to my eyes?

i hope this last 5 days.

Here i go tryin to blog again..

Well, the last time i tried blogging, i lasted 4 days.. I hope i'll last longer this time.. @ least 5 days i hope.. my patience is not the best triat i have..

Wads up with the address of the blog u ask? hey.. i cant help it u know.. everyting i type juz comes n get slammed back into my face.. not to mention i have to strain to look at these pics to type out these 'words'. irritatin. cant they juz use back the same pic? how in the god's world does it help improve security? enlighten me.

Well.. since everything i typed was rejected, the next ting i saw was a photo taken in the singapore zoo so i typed it in n bingo! finally!